It's nearly midnight so I'm headed off to bed
And on the way I took a detour past the head.
It's almost May! The long cold winter should be dead!
When I sat down, I found that he has stuck around instead.
In summer's heat, a chilly seat might just be nice.
On cool spring days nobody wants to sit on ice!
I may be thrifty, but I think I'd pay the price
To heat the toilet seat! In fact, I'd pay it twice!
Is there nowhere a plastic or a stone
Warm to the touch with heat all of its own?
Exists somewhere a substance warm, man-made or grown?
Someone invent one just to fix the pearly throne!
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